Interview with The Cryptic Comic

There's been such confusion and actual trepidation regarding the CC; I thought an in depth interview was appropriate. Unfortunately, Larry King was unavailable. Bob Costas did not return my call. Edward R. Murrow is dead. We settled for Bob.

CC: First, let me offer my sincerest condolences.
Bob: Thanks. As most of you know, my mother's,...my stepmother's aunt died 3 months ago.



CC: Were you close?
Bob: No, not at all.


CC: What was her name?
Bob: Louise.



CC: I worked with a Louise once; no, actually it was Louis. Can't be the same person. Or, at least, highly unlikely. Not close, huh?
Bob: No, not at all.
CC: Still, it must be a difficult time.

Bob: Let's move on. Your idols, your mentors, whose comic genius impacted you the most?
CC: What a great question. Certainly, Bob & Ray, Andy Kaufman, Jack Handey,and Pope Paul.
Bob: Pope Paul?
CC: Hugely under rated. His timing, impeccable; his sense of the absurd,...delicious.


Bob: Any current comics that make you laugh.
CC: Ernest Borgnine is a hoot!


Bob: Your critics say you're not funny. Your jokes have no punchline, your stories are pointless. They say you should call yourself the "Crappy Comic."
CC: I had an avocado for lunch today.
Bob: That's all?
CC: That's all. Ate it right out of its shell.


Bob: Why should I care?
CC: You asked.
Bob: When?
CC: Let's dispense with the symantics, Bob. You're better than that.


Bob: Actually, I'm not. Can we be done?
CC: Sure, Bob. This going nowhere, sort of like my act.


Bob: Well, at least can agree on that. Any last comments?
CC: Just one last word......


Bob: I hope it's "adios?"

CC: No...a. My friend; you are my friend, right? I'll be appearing on Facebook soon. Hope to see you there. You will be my friend, right? I mean, that's what friends are for. As Elton John said to Stevie Wonder, Dionne Warwick, and Gladys Knight; "mmh, yeah."