WHAT IF?

When I was in my late teens, John, Rusty, and I would sometimes make believe we were reunitng 20, 30 years in the future. I had already met Pat by this time, so my scenarios were always pretty positive, though, truth be told, never as bright as reality turned out to be.

Now, I occassionally play the same mind game, but in reverse. I wonder what my life would be like if certain significant events were altered. I look back, never with regret, except when I think how easy my life would be if I had grown up a Yankee fan.

What if I had never met Pat? I try not to think about that. Too depressing.

What if I never had kids? I never think about that. Too scary. For one thing, Geeg would never have been a mother, a grandmother; and that would have been a terrible waste.

Okay, so there was a time my children were a source primarily of stress and deep angst, but that time lasted way less than a decade. Now, it's all lollipops and ice cream.

Pride. Joy.

When I see Julie parenting our grandsons, I see our influence. I like to think we set a good example, but I recognize that Julie learned from our mistakes as well. Still, I see Geeg's patience, her lessons, her nurturing. (I like to take credit for Julie's grocery shopping skills.)

When Sara deals with adults in both social and professional circumstances, admittedly I see a poise far beyond any level her parents ever possessed. But when I see her as "Aunt Sara," I see "Aunt Patty," playful, caring, always teaching. Respected and cherished. Loved.

When Amy tells us about her lifestyle, I'm not always sure where she came from. I know I'm something of a rube, but I consider someone who takes cabs weekly as "worldly." Yet, when Amy speaks of her mentoring of students, of her concern for the homeless, of her visists to the eldery...........she radiates her mother.

My children honor their mother thru the lives they lead, by the women they have become.

I couldn't be more proud.

Happy Mother's Day. Every day.