Celebrity Beach

Andy Rooney and Jerry Seinfeld were at the beach recently, where I overheard the following conversation:

Andy: Do you ever think about all the things you can put in a salad? The list is unending, really.
Jerry: Whatever.

A: I like mostly vegetables; plenty of crisp lettuce. Not Romaine. Really ripe tomatoes too.
J: Yeah.

A: I like lots of ingredients; cucumbers, radishes, carrots. I used to like celery, but then I found out was allergic to it.
J: Really.

A: Some people add fruit to their salad. Apples are good, but they turn brown soon after you slice them.
J: Do you ever add sand to your salad?

A: No. That would be wrong. I recently tried avocado. I didn't think I would like it, I don't like guacamole. "Guacamole," that's a funny word, isn't it?
J: Hilarious.

A: I didn't know what to do with the avocado; it didn't come with instructions.
J: You have to peel it and remove the pit.

A: Oh. I ate the pit. I didn't like it. I had to go to the dentist. Now I drool alot because my teeth are out of alignment.
J: Well, now you know.

A: Mmmmm.
J: I just buy salad in a bag. You should try it.

A: Does it come with the dressing in the bag?
J: No. That would be wrong.

A: I like croutons, crumbled blue cheese, and something crunchy. A festival of tastes, textures, and colors.
J: Whatever.