I'm wondering if it's time for another Vatican Council. I think Pope John XXIII had a fairly successful one. (Will there ever be a Pope John XXIV? Twenty four is my favorite number.)
As an avid church goer, I have some suggestions:
1. Maybe a little less pomp and circumstance. You've come a long way, baby, but let's lose some of the colorful robes. I think a priest looks his best; pious and dignified, in a simple black suit. It's okay to keep the collar.
2. No second collections. If you need extra money, just ask us to put more in the basket the first time. Coming around for seconds seems like a cheap retail trick. You're too good for that.
3. Minimum age for altar persons. They should be old enough to defend themselves, or at least old enough to negotiate. (Have you seen "Doubt"?)
4. Consider "best practices" from other religions - a common approach to "continuous improvement" in other industries. One of my daughters can get you some information regarding the Quakers if you want.
5. Let's settle the whole "communion" issue. Take a poll of folks that have chosen the religious life. Not "cafeteria catholics" like me, but Priests and Brothers. (Don't include nuns; they can be fanatical. (Have you seen the movie "Doubt"?) Ask them if communion is in fact real, or just a symbol. Please publish the results.
6. I applaud John for switching the third person of God from a ghost to a spirit. That showed real insight. I suggest you get the best "bang for your buck" with the kids in our tribe and play up this "spirit" notion. Not so much religion, but mysticism, magic. I encourage you to request assistance from David Blaine on this matter. You may already be familiar with His work; I suspect he is the second coming. Perhaps you would prefer to work with Cris Angel, even though "Angel" is his name, not his lot in life.
That's all I've got. I'm good with most of the commandments and the sacraments. I'll skip the abortion question for now, but I'd love to hear your thoughts on euthanasia. (Could solve a lot of problems, especially here in Florida, the unofficial home of "I've fallen and I can't get up.)
Ok; you DO have way too much time on your hands...you watch a movie "Doubt" and NOW you take on the whole Catholic church.. going right to the top of the food chain! Its those red shoes you really want isn't it? Then you could really dance the "Pop Dance" Huh???
ReplyDeletePaxil works really well; think of taking that BEFORE the rubber room attendents come to Indian Rocks Beach.
Love, Mema
OH!!! This requires more than a cursory reading, but the inveterate proofreader in me caught the alter/altarperson mistake(?) With you I always assume it is intentional, though I haven't figured out the joke.
ReplyDeleteLooking forward to seeing Doubt. It's on its way via Netflix.
New York is welcoming our new Cardinal today if you're looking for more Pomp & Circumstance.
Thanks for keeping us laughing, crying or thinking.
Love, Big Sister
Typo, I think. Maybe I was subconciously thinking about some "alter"native.
ReplyDelete